Brigid Day

oink

November 14, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Now that we have experienced H1N1 with Nick, I have some tips to share. Many of the people I have talked to, who have also had children with H1N1, have had similar experiences. So here is my guide to recognizing swine flu:

It comes on fast. I spent the day with Nick and he was fine. At dinner he spiked a fever and by six-eight hours later, he was the worst he would get.

Chills. Fever. Chills. Fever. Repeat. Repeat.

Headache. (Though Nick doesn’t vocalize pain, so I don’t know if he had one or not. But many children have complained of headaches.) (And I, of course, have had sympathetic headaches for three days. Yay.)

Our plan of attack involved more doses of Motrin and Tylenol than I care to admit. We rotated between the two every three hours. One was not enough to knock down the fever most times. With both in his system, he managed much better.

Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. Dehydration causes temperature to rise. Being hydrated can help the body regulate temperature.

I will admit after 24 hours, Nick was doing much better. I thought he may have had a 24-hour virus and not the flu at all. And then the chills came back. I realized that figuring out what to call it wasn’t as important as watching for symptoms.

We went to the doctor and had the flu swab done. Did you know it’s not very reliable? It can miss 4 out of 10 cases. That’s a 40% error rate. Our doctor told us if it’s positive, you know it’s the flu. But if it’s negative, you don’t know that it’s not the flu. Not very helpful when you are one of the ones who get a negative.

We started Tamiflu less than 24 hours into it. It would have been 16 hours into it, except the pharmacy had to compound it, which took an extra four hours. I have heard Tamiflu is pretty horrible tasting. Luckily both of my children take medicine fairly well. Tamiflu with a drink chaser seems to work the best for us. (Maggie is allergic to Tamiflu, so with any luck, she will somehow dodge this bullet.)

Overall, the highest of high fevers was scary as shit. Other than that and listening for cough and/or respiratory issues, it’s not been too bad. At least there was no puking.

And now to close on the most boring post ever, I really need to get out of the house. I’m actually starting to clean. That is a scary thing.

 

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106

November 13, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Not to beat a dead horse, but I now know the definitive answer to what does any parent never want to see at 2am?

And that answer would be 106.

106.0

That was what the thermometer said my son’s temperature was two nights ago. Yes, it was an ear thermometer. Yes, they do have a margin of error. Doesn’t matter. Trust me on this one, you never want to see 106.

(And that was in the ear that was facing away from the pillow. The ear that was facing the pillow was bright red, as well as that side of his face was bright red – yeah, I didn’t even go there. I don’t know if I would have survived seeing 107  or worse and it would have been a false reading anyway, so I didn’t even go there.)

And I had a few moments panic as to whether to take him immediately to the ER. I decided not to. I gave him Motrin, which had knocked it down earlier, I stripped him down, put a wet wash cloth on his head and called the doctor’s office.  While I waited for them to call me back, he slept and his temp slowly dropped.

Had I taken him to the ER, they would have had to do things like a spinal tap to rule out meningitis, and other invasive tests to cover their ass. Certainly within a half hour if he hadn’t gotten better, to the ER we would go. But luckily we didn’t have to.

Last night went as smoothly as could be. We stayed ahead of the fever and he slept all night. What a relief. I used to think 102 wasn’t bad because we had weathered so many 104.5 temps. I hope my frame of reference never goes higher than 106.

 

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thermometers

November 11, 2009 · Leave a Comment

At dinner tonight, Nick dropped his napkin on the floor and almost broke into tears. Then a few minutes later, he put his head on the table. I pride myself on being able to spot a sick child from .8 miles away (all the better to avoid getting puked on.) But having spent the day with Nick, it was the last thing I suspected.

Mike was the first to ask if he had a fever. I got the thermometer and sure enough, 101.4 temp. Then we saw he had the chills and was starting to tremble. We gave him a dose of Tylenol.

Mike took him up for a warm bath to get the chills away.

Getting rid of the chills = good. Putting feverish child in warm bath = fever goes up, fast. In the first few minutes after the tub, his temp was 101.4.

Just a few minutes later he was at 104.5 in one ear and 103.9 in the other. One of those numbers is a lot more comfortable for me than the other. Knowing the bath had a lot to do with that, I tried not to freak.

Since I had spent the day with Nick, I thought I would take my own temp just for kicks. It was 96.5. Therein causing me to think the thermometer was broken.

So I started the hunt for the other five thermometers that live in various parts of the house. The first two I found were the glass and digital butt thermometers from when the children were babies. I didn’t think that was a viable option, so I kept searching.

Next I found my basal thermometer from past fertility research. In a pinch I thought it might work, though they are not really supposed to be used as a fever thermometer.

I couldn’t get him to put it under his tongue.

I left to search for the others and Mike set to work on getting a read off that one.

The next time I reappeared, Mike said the basal thermometer (OK, he didn’t say “basal thermometer,” he said “this one”) read 102.1.

The ear one again read 103.4 and 103.2.

Just to make things interesting, it should be noted that a little over a year ago, Nick had two viruses fairly close to each other that included repeated 104.5 fevers that would go down to 102.4 with Tylenol and Motrin.

I tried my ear again it said “too low,” as in it couldn’t even read me. And this was with me running up and down the stairs looking in different closets for thermometers.

I scrounged up another digital one which after a few tries, found didn’t work at all.

By now, an hour later, we decided to stagger in the Motrin (a tad early but in an attempt to knock it down so he could go to sleep.) About 45 minutes later, he was back to normal. Cool, sleeping rather uneasily, but sleeping.

And I was laying next to him with major, major chills. Whole-body-shaking chills.

The beauty of having sympathetic symptoms to my children, is I never know if I actually am coming down with whatever they have, or if I’m just going into shock. I finally fell asleep, waking about an hour later feeling warm, wondering if I was warm from fever or if I had just warmed up my freaked out body.

I’m pretty sure it was the later, which makes me more than a little weird. (It should be noted, I have a puke bucket on standby in his room, and any threat or possible threat of puke is known to put me over the edge.)

But if you don’t hear from me tomorrow, you’ll know why.

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breathe

November 10, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I have been hoping to get myself to another yoga class after the work retreat that I went on a few months ago. That yoga class spoke to me. I felt such a much-needed release that day.

But alas, time and money have kept me from getting to go back so far. I could be doing some at home on my own, if I was so inclined.  But I’m unfortunately not so inclined. I’m more likely to be reclined. As in, on my couch.

But the one thing I have done are the breathing exercises. (I’ll use any excuse to use the word exercise pertaining to myself.)

Here it is: Take a slow, deep breath in for the count of eight. Hold it for the count of eight. Slowly release it for the count of eight. Repeat.

That slows the number of breaths you take during a minute down to just over two. That is some serious breathing. Once you get good, you can add more to your inhale.  When you think your lungs are full, stretch them even more.

And when I say stretch, I mean it. See, I am a shallow breather. I take in just enough oxygen to stay alive. It’s a bad habit or a personality trait, or I’m just plain that lazy. I’m not sure. About every hour I take one deep breath. (When I was hooked up to the monitors after giving birth, my oxygen monitor would beep at least every other minute.)

It’s not good. I know this. So I have been practicing this yoga breathing and it’s helping me to breathe a little deeper all the time. More oxygen in, means a better, healthier me. It also helps me when I’m stressed, or nervous, or nauseated. It helps me fall asleep at night.

That first day at class, I couldn’t really do it for the full 24 seconds. But with practice I have built up my stamina. For three days after that class, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. My whole chest area was sore from having expanded so much. Just one more way my body screamed at me to stop ignoring it.

So for now, yoga breathing and lots of it. Hopefully soon, a little bit of actual yoga.

 

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a curious incident in the night

November 9, 2009 · 3 Comments

Last night I attended a phenomenal talk given by Wendy Mogel, author of The Blessing of A Skinned Knee. She talked about the many, many ways that parents of my age are doing a disservice to our children. We do too much for them, we put too many school pressures on them, we enroll them in too many extracurriculars. We are robbing them of their childhoods. Their chance to play. And be.

I can’t begin to capture the entire discussion here, but I bought the book and can’t wait to get started on it. I saw myself in many of the instances she talked about. We, as parents, are trying to do the best we can for our children. Yet we are taking on more of their lives than is healthy for us or for them.

As a stay-at-home mother, my job right now is to nurture my children, to teach them, to guide them. Their independence and happiness has everything to do with how I am doing at my job. I take things personally, because I am personally invested.

But in the end, they will grow up to be adults.

And hopefully they will grow up to be adults who can problem solve. And take criticism gracefully. And make decisions for themselves.

But how are they to attain these valuable assets if they aren’t allowed to practice now?

Take last night. Asleep in my bed at  3am, through the monitor I heard a door open upstairs. I waited. Normally, at the first sound I would run upstairs to make sure whoever was up was OK. I would make sure they didn’t wake their sibling. I would fix the situation.

Last night, I waited. I listened.

Another door opened, and then a door closed. And that was it.

This morning, after I heard the children laughing and giggling, I went up to begin the get-ready-for-school process. It turns out Nick had woken up, gone into Maggie’s room and climbed into her bed. She woke up, saw him and they both went back to sleep.

All without my help.

Or advice.

Or intervention.

So, I am reminded, once again, just how capable these beings are and how little credit I sometimes give them.

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finally

November 8, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I am finally, finally, starting to feel caught up on my life. Since I wallow all the time about being behind, I figured I would also share being almost caught up. (Please, if there is a hubris diety out there waiting to strike me down, I beg you to pretend you never read that.)

I have had some major projects come my way in the last few weeks and I have crossed them all off the list.

The kids played outside all weekend, which is one of the most lovely things I can ask for.

I have nothing waiting to be monogrammed. No lie. As I was typing that I remembered another item I need to purchase and monogram. Drat. Oh well. It’s only one thing. And I have a gift or two rattling around in my brain so maybe I’ll get them all done and feel like a monogramming olympian.

The house is still pretty messy. That much hasn’t changed. Bet hey, I’m not a perfect person.

And I’m going to totally pretend that not being on the computer (much) for five days had nothing to do with it.

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all done

November 7, 2009 · 3 Comments

I have been a walking Twitter update without the means to tweet this week. (Or FB update, pick your poison.)

One thing I would have said, had I not imposed this ridiculous set of rules on myself for the week:

“Help! The zipper on my coat is stuck and I’m getting hot.

I had about five others that were so riveting, so powerful, so necessary, that I have completely forgotten them.

And there goes the point of this whole post.

And yes, I have cheated. I sent some FB birthday greetings so I wouldn’t forget. And I have pretty much had to check e-mail daily due to three different projects I am working on. I’m not sure if that makes me a cop-out or just busy.

I have made a few phone calls that I would have handled through e-mail. Those were actually pleasant. But I had nothing to refer back to in writing and almost totally flaked on a commitment.

The hardest part is trying to stay true to not hopping on-line at the drop of a hat. So very many questions I have during the course of a normal day, I answer with a quick internet search. By not going on-line, I found myself just not getting answers. And that’s no good.

A few things I have realized: I was spending entirely too much time on-line. Popping on for a search is one thing, but then I would go to 14 other links and then check FB and my mail and read some blogs with tweets popping up all the while. Hours would go by. Hours, people.

Setting the phone/laptop down and walking away seem to work best for me. And spending five days paying attention to this will help me in the long run.

And yes, I am talking in past tense. Because I’m done. I’m coming back on-line. Turning the little light back on. But with a mindful plan. Just like I don’t sit in front of the TV while I am with the kids, I’m going to stop sitting in front of the computer with the kids.

For the record, when my dear child spends 15 minutes in a public bathroom and I am forced to wait for her, I will most certainly be checking my mail.

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Floss master

November 6, 2009 · 1 Comment

After many years of a nonexistent less than stellar flossing habit, I finally realized the importance of flossing a little over a year ago. Or has it been two years now? Wow, time really is starting to telescope.

Every day. Every. Single. Day. I never wanted to give anyone permission to dig under my gums again, as long as I could help it.  Anyway, I kick some flossing butt.

Or so I thought.

I went to the dentist a few days ago and got quite the rude awakening. Yes, my gums are healthy and no, I didn’t bleed at all. But apparently my “flossing technique” is not up to muster, so guess what happened? Yep. They went digging around under my gums again.

Holy hell does that hurt. And hurts later that day. And hurts worse the next day.

I vowed, as she stuck her shiny metal instrument under my gum, it would never.happen.again.

So I got some pointers on my flossing technique.  Apparently my gums are a little deceiving and the roots of the tooth need to be hugged by the floss.  If you don’t hear a squeak or some such sound as you hug the tooth, keep going. Holy hell. Again.

So I spend more time flossing and brushing my teeth than just about anything in my beauty routine. And I have taken to brushing three times a day. Or more. I am still on the search for a specific rinse that attacks plaque which they recommended.

Oh, and when they asked me what kind of floss I use, and I told them Glide, I got the old “Oh” with the head nod which means that explains a lot. They switched me to something a lot less glamorous, if floss can ever even be described as glamorous in the first place. This new stuff is plain old string.

I swear, next I will be the weirdo who carries her toothbrush and toothpaste around in her purse. Well, I would except those caps that go on travel toothbrushes have always creeped me out. I mean come on, wet toothbrush meets dark enclosed area; Germs fester and mold grows.  And I’m supposed to put that thing back in my mouth? You can put as many little air holes in there as you want, you aren’t fooling me.

On a positive note, no cavities and they predict I will have all my teeth until I’m at least 90 (you know, as long as I spend the next 50 years flossing with proper technique.)

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her own agenda

November 5, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Maggie found out that a few of her friends from school live a block over from us. So we have been taking walks after school. (Me, for the exercise. Her, for the chance encounter.)

And low and behold, today we heard some voices. She immediately picked up the pace to see if it was her friend. But I could see his hair was the wrong color. Then we heard my name from behind us. It was her friend’s mother.

We visited for a few minutes (more like 30 minutes) while the kids played. On our way back to the street, her friend’s mom said she could come back sometime for a playdate.

“We can take another walk tomorrow. See you then!” Maggie said as we were leaving.

That girl knows how to get invited places.

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darkish

November 4, 2009 · 1 Comment

Day one into my “going dark” experiment has proven enlightening. It turns out, I can ignore FB, Twitter, and blog reading with moderate discomfort. But my e-mail? Whoa. Whole other story.

In fact, due to talking myself into checking it for work more than once today, I actually wasn’t completely dark today. Though, the work instances were for real. The newsletter still sits unfinished and I had to check three of the pieces for content. I didn’t answer any e-mails, and only intend on answering the ones that are business related (newsletter, monogramming, and school related.)

Since I carry my phone with me in case of emergency while the children are at school, I had the internet in my pocket all day long. The iPhone plays a huge role in my dirty little habit. It’s there, with me all the time. Ignoring it seems so wrong. But ignore it, I did.

But my head seemed clearer today. My thought were a bit more my own. I had been taking in so much information in any given day that I haven’t given myself time to process much of it. But today, I was free to think about what was actually happening today. I was less overwhelmed by small things, heck, even big things, because I was in the moment. In my own life, instead of in so many others.

To be sure, I changed my own rules more than a dozen times on what I should have decided – for instance, the internet is OK if the children are sleeping, or I get to check e-mail once a day, or e-mail is OK, just not social media. But other than the few times I glanced at mail, I stayed dark.

Tomorrow the newsletter will hopefully be put to bed. And with it, my excuse to check mail.

Day one was easier than I imagined. But without my glimpses, I would probably be climbing the walls right now. Maybe it’s a weaning process. Let’s hope.

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