Brigid Day

Entries from November 2009

stinky rose

November 30, 2009 · 26 Comments

Because sometimes I like to jump into the deep end, knowing full well that I don’t know how to swim, I present Write of Passage. A lot of fabulous writers are getting together on-line to, well, to write. And I seem to have jumped in. Will someone please throw me a swimmy noodle.

Our first challenge – Our most embarrassing story. Gah.

As a relatively unknown freshman at a huge high school, I was eager to make friends. And that I did. As a fairly boy-crazy teenager, I was eager to have a super cool boyfriend. That would prove a little trickier.

Our student council would organize these crazy flower drives or some such nonsense, where a student could pay a few bucks for a rose, write a note to go with it and have it delivered during home room to the lucky recipient.

I sat every day during these silly fundraiser weeks, waiting patiently for my rose.

Never happened.

So I decided to jump into the deep end. I would be proactive. I would send the rose. (I still shudder.)

So I chose one of the most popular boys. Who was quite handsome. And a year older than me. Because if you’re going to go, you might as well go big. Right?

The words I wrote on that note are still burned into my brain. I can only hope it is something he forgot about long ago.

“I have always been told, where there is a will, there is a way. I have the will, please lead the way.”

I. Kid. You. Not.

Yeah, so that didn’t go so well for me. And I still cringe at the memory of him rounding the corner of the hallway the first time. And the next time. And pretty much every time for the next three years.

Worst two bucks I ever spent.

Categories: Brigid · Write of Passage
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swings

November 29, 2009 · 3 Comments

We took our family photo this morning, complete with raindrops, a wonky tripod leg and many laughs. I’m saving that photo for our Christmas cards.

Here is one that makes me smile.

Categories: Brigid · Maggie · Nicholas
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Wonder Woman

November 28, 2009 · 1 Comment

I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record, for lack of a better cliché. But this last week has been life changing. I started a replacement medication for the cortisol that my body stopped making long ago.

I feel like Wonder Woman (minus the figure). (Which, by the way, actually printed on the bottle “may increase appetite.” Look out, figure!) (Which I could totally care less about, because seriously, what good is a figure if I can’t get out of bed?)

I went to the grocery store at 4:45pm tonight. Then I came home and fixed dinner. Then the children and I made a dessert that required ingredients. (And cooperation, and teamwork, and patience.) This was all after a day of cleaning, Christmas tree decorating, and parenting. Sounds fairly normal, except I’m usually dragging ass around 2pm and waiting for the sun to go down to declare it “the middle of the night” and time for bed.

My children actually have started doing a “Yay! Mommy!” cheer. My husband is wholeheartedly joining in.

Just to show a little contrast, I’m going to include a draft I started that was too whiny depressing to post. I wrote this six days ago. It was titled On Empty. I didn’t even have the energy to finish it.

I’ve been running on fumes for a few weeks now. The only thing that seems to help is 12-13 hours of sleep every night. And that isn’t even helping anymore.

I have caring friends who have asked if I am depressed. I always answer no. But I am getting depressed. I am getting depressed that my body is not working the way I wish it would.

This morning was very depressing for me. This morning I felt the same way I did 14 years ago before I was diagnosed with a tumor on my adrenal gland. If you had asked me three weeks ago what that felt like, I wouldn’t have been able to answer you. But sitting there this morning, after 9 hours of sleep, I was still tired. And nauseated. And hungry. And hollow.

You know how scents bring back memories? I had a moment like that. It wasn’t a scent though, it was a feeling.

That was six days ago.  What a difference a week can make.

(Sadly, I am not actually  Wonder Woman. If I were, I would be able to heal the breaking heart of a dear friend. Instead, I send her my love.)

Categories: Brigid · parenting - my way
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Giving thanks

November 27, 2009 · 1 Comment

Yesterday was time spent with family, so the missing post will just have to be missing. No apologies.

But I have been giving a lot of thought to what today’s post would be. I have the usual things to be thankful for – my husband, children, family, friends, health, home. But this year I am thankful to my husband, children, family and friends for different reasons.

This year I am thankful because they have all put up with me for the last 12 months. And that has not been an easy thing to do.

I am thankful to my husband for enduring my moodiness, my criticisms, my short-temperedness. Know that I would be lost without you.

I am thankful to my children for accepting my lack of patience, my need for daytime sleep, and the whole parenting learning curve that I have yet to figure out.

I am thankful to my parents for helping pick up every bit of my slack that they possibly could. The endless support did not go unnoticed.

I am thankful to my friends for accepting my last-minute cancellations, my leaving early, and my general lack of plan-making abilities.

I am most thankful for the opportunity to do better this year. To feel better, to interact more, to laugh, to learn, to love. To live. I could bore you to tears with how amazing it is to feel like I’m really living again. Instead, I will just wow you in the coming months with my energy and vitality. And that, is a promise.

Categories: Brigid
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good things

November 25, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Just stealing a quick moment while at my in-laws. Nick did a cough/vomit thing (OK, it was only a tiny bit of vomit, but to me, vomit is vomit) a little earlier that, of course, sent me to my knees for a few hours. But it appears to be a fluke and he seems to be fine. I actually ate a little and everyone seems well. Whew.

The kids are soaking up all the cousin time they can get. I am enjoying a bit of sitting around time, and that is always a good thing. And I’m awake. And not yawning. And that is a good thing too. It’s like I’m a different person than I was just a few days ago. I like the new me a whole lot more. (As does anyone who has spent any time with me lately.)

Categories: Brigid · Nicholas · parenting - my way
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hindsight

November 24, 2009 · Leave a Comment

As I dropped Nick off at school today I noticed I hadn’t combed his hair. It was one of those days where it stood up on all sides. I have no idea how I didn’t realize that before we left the house.

When Maggie got home from school, she took her jacket off.  A minute later she turned around and I saw her dress was unzipped.  And had been all day. (Unzipped almost down to her bum.) I asked if she wore her coat all day and luckily she said yes. I have no idea how I didn’t realize that before she left for school.

I started taking a medication yesterday to help my failing adrenal gland. I feel 1000% better after taking only three doses. I am finally able to stay awake all day and still function. It’s amazing. I don’t know how I didn’t realize I needed this a year ago.

 

Categories: Brigid · Maggie · Nicholas
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feeling the love

November 23, 2009 · 1 Comment

“Mommy, I love you all the way to the moon and back. And to all the stars and back,” Maggie said to me tonight on the way home from the paint store. (The paint store where I look more and more haggard every time I go in. The paint store I hope to not visit again this week.)

“I love you that much, too. And I love you all the way to Pluto and back,” I answered.

“How far is Pluto?”

“It’s the farthest planet from the Earth.” (I say planet because I am a child of the seventies and I refuse to say dwarf planet until she comes home from school correcting me.)

“Oh. Well, I love you to the Milky Way and back,” she said.

Touchè, little one.

Categories: Brigid · Maggie · parenting - my way
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it’s been November for a million years

November 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I’ve started four different posts tonight. One made it into the draft category. The other three went straight to the trash. Even though I willingly signed up for NaBloPoMo, days like today make me regret that commitment.

So hopefully tomorrow my voice will return (and won’t be so whiney.)

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nine

November 21, 2009 · 1 Comment

I just had a realization. It’s Saturday so the whole family is together today. Tomorrow is Sunday. We will pick up Maggie from her first sleepover tomorrow morning. Then the kids go to school on Monday and Tuesday while Mike and I finish “the great paint of ‘09.”

Then we will visit family for Thanksgiving since the kids will be off school Wednesday-Friday. Then it’s another weekend.

That’s nine days with my family. Yay! (Except I thrive on also being alone. Boo.) So I will be doing my best to enjoy my family, finish painting without needing to consult an attorney, and scheduling some me-time in there.

Categories: Brigid · parenting - my way · the lived in house
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better her than me

November 20, 2009 · 2 Comments

After being home from school for a few hours tonight, Maggie looked at me and said “Guess what, mom?”

“What?”

“I was sitting at lunch today and ______ threw up at the table.”

I blanched. Remember, just yesterday I was sitting at that table.

“Oh, no Maggie! What happened?”

“Oh, it was fine. He was sitting right next to me but I moved to the side and nothing got on me.”

“You were right next to him?”

“Yes, but it was OK.  It wasn’t that much. It just filled up one lunch tray.”

************************

I would have had to go to the nurse if I’d been sitting next to him. And selfishly, thank you to the powers that be for making it happen today instead of yesterday.

And she says he was fine and stayed the rest of the day. I never know which parts of the story to believe and which parts delve into fantasy.

Categories: Brigid · Maggie